Whiskey Lullaby
by FiddleDeStixx
Summary: TW: Major Character Deaths, Set during and after the 'Church in Kentucky' scene. I would recommend listening to the song while you read, but also adding in the lyrics in the brackets that I changed from the original song. Here's the song - (/watch?v dPsQz


"No!" Eggsy yelled at the screen as Harry fell, unaware that both Merlin and Lancelot were also watching. Merlin slumped as Roxy/Lancelot cried into her sleeve, hands over his face.

_She (He) put him out, like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette_

_She (It) broke his heart, he spent his (the) whole life (time) tryin' to forget_

Christ Alive, why had Galahad been so stupid?! Why?! He could think of a few reasons, but hearing Eggsy cursing after slamming the screen down, despair laced throughout the tirade, he lost his train of thought. Instead it went backwards, way backwards to before the mission.

_We (We'd) watched him drink his pain away, a little at a time  
_

_But he never could get drunk enough to get her (him) off his mind_

_Until the (that) night..._

Merlin had turned down to one of the lower rooms at the Kingsman base to find Galahad/Harry rather drunk and upset, he was supposed to be on a plane right now to Kentucky to find out what Valentine was doing.

"Oi, what you bloody doing here?" He had to ask after all.

Harry jumped a little, but looked up, eyes glazed over. "Sorry, sorry, going n-now."

He started getting up, but fell back into his bottom into the chair he was sitting in. That seemed to just make him worse, head falling into his hands as his shoulders shook.

Merlin wandered in, shutting the door behind him quietly. He could guess what this behavior was about, after all, he seemed to be the only one who noticed anything around here after all.

Sitting down, he put a hand on Harry's knee. "Is this to do with /him/?"

Sniffling, Harry, despite his senior manners choked out a "Yes." before shaking himself.

"What am I doing Merlin? Why am I pining over a bloody child? I can't even get fucking drunk enough to forget his fucking existence for a couple of hours at least..."

"It's probably because your mind doesn't /want to/ forget, Harry." Merlin shook his head.

"But I have to! I have to fucking forget! Don't you understand?!" Harry argued, throwing his hands up. "It's immoral, it's it's…"

"Not bloody right?" Merlin answered drily for him.

"Yes, not bloody right…" Harry reached for the whisky beside him, downing another glass is seconds. "What do I do Merlin? How do I forget?"

"That's one thing I can't help you with Harry." Merlin shook, shaking his head. "I'm better with technology than I am with deep set feelings. Look, take a breather, try not to drink anymore and get out to the hanger and on a plane before Arthur finds you still here."

"I shouldn't have left him alone that night.." Merlin murmured to himself.

_He put that bottle (gun) to his head (the ground) and pulled (and he pulled) the trigger_

_And finally drank away her (his) memory_

_Life is short, but this time it was bigger_

_Than the strength he had to get up off his knees_

Lancelot looked at him a little, sniffling, but didn't ask further as he muttered to himself. "Why did I leave him alone that night…?"

_We found him with his face down in the pillow (dirt)_

_With a note that said (said last), 'I'll love her (that boy) till I die.'_

When they brought his body back to Britain, Merlin was called by Arthur to the dining room.

"Ah, Merlin…" Arthur put down his glass of brandy, gesturing next to him where another lay. Merlin nodded, sitting in his seat and taking it. He and Arthur both raised their glasses to the sky and clinked them together before downing their contents.

"So…" Arthur cleared his throat, pushing a envelope towards him. "The corner found this in his suit. I think it should be your duty to give it to it's recipient."

"What is it Arthur?" Merlin asked, though he had an inkling, seeing 'Eggsy' written on the front in Harry's fluent script.

"I think that's best kept secret Merlin." Was all Arthur said, shaking. "I think it's best."

Nodding, Merlin walked off, intent on delivering it, but couldn't resist opening and peeking in it inside the privacy of his lab when he could reseal it.

Inside was a note, with one line standing out amongst the others: "I'll love that boy till I die."

_And when we buried him beneath the willow_

_The angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

_La, la, la, la la la la, la, la, la la la la_

Merlin knew the burial was going to be hard, but he knew who it would be most hard on. He cast an eye over to Eggsy who sat beside Lancelot, severely red eyed and dressed in a hoodie, cap and jeans as usual, head down as Arthur spoke of Galahad's bravery, he heard none of it. He had dropped off the letter under Eggsy's mother's apartment door and this was the first sign of him near them in almost a week as they worked to organize Galahad's funeral.

It was after the burial beside the willow beside Kingsman HQ's back perimeter that he approached Eggsy. He was still standing in the same spot he had been standing when the casket was lowered into the ground. Roxy had pet his shoulder and left him there, but he'll be damned to do the same.

When he touched his shoulder, the boy barely flinched. "Come on Eggsy, you'll catch a bloody cold standing out here like this. We'll call you a cab to get you back home."

Eggsy automatically did as he was told, but he spoke softly, voice strangled. "I want to go back to Harry's 'ouse, please. I don't wanna go 'ome just yet."

Merlin nodded. "We can do that Eggsy."

_The rumors flew, but nobody knew how much she (he) blamed herself_

_For years and years (months and months)_

_She (He) tried to hide the whiskey on her (his) breath_

Of course, Merlin who usually knew everything, never recognized the signs till it was too late. It was a couple of days before the worst happened, just after Valentine's defeat, when Eggsy really started acting strange.

Now, Merlin wasn't stupid. He knew Eggsy was drinking heavily because of what had happened and sometimes, he and Lancelot had to team up to snap some sense back into him when he came to Kingsman pissed almost every day, but he still defied them mostly.

The red eyes, the shifty exterior, the constant drinking, the wearing of Harry's suits, he hadn't added it up to anything that big except missing Harry too much. The letter that he had dropped off at his door must have impacted him badly enough.

_She (He) finally drank her (his) pain away a little at a time_

_But she (he) never could get drunk enough to get him off her (his) mind_

He finally had enough and sent Eggsy home on a few days leave when he failed to arrive for a assignment for him and Lancelot sober once again, being the new Galahad, he needed to be ready, he needed to be sober and he was neither of those things. He wasn't even stable in his emotions and that wasn't good enough. Not right now.

_Until the (that) night..._

He was his worst mistake possible. Eggsy had taken the punishment in stride and Merlin kept a constant eye on them throughout it with the help of Lancelot. But, he didn't know turning away would do more harm than good eventually. He was on his glasses surveillance when it happened...when it saw it.

_She (He) put that bottle to her (his) head (desk) and pulled the trigger_

_And finally drank away his memory_

_Life is short, but this time it was bigger_

_Than the strength she (he) had to get up off her (his) knees_

He saw Eggsy's hand pull out the spare gun from Harry's desk drawer and reload it before bringing it past his glasses.

Shit, fuck, no.

Before he could react and get Lancelot into that house, the surveillance clicked off, glasses thrown off and broken.

_We found her (him) with her (his) face down in the pillow (in the paper)_

_Clinging to his picture for dear life_

He heard it before Lancelot found him. The audio senses and microphone on the glasses wasn't as broken as the eyes were.

"Eggsy, don't you dare. This better be an bloody trick or otherwise! Harry wouldn't want you to do this. Think about your mum, your little sister, Lancelot, Kingsman..." He begged. "Come on Galahad…"

He heard Eggsy sob before murmuring out. "Sorry." before it came. A large, familiar bang echoed throughout the glasses receiving speakers.

Lancelot ran in, kicking the door in from the outside, gun drawn and her hand was over her mouth, quiet sobs instantly coming though at the image that Merlin now saw that she did.

Eggsy was face down, pale body slumped in a sitting position, upper half on Harry's desk, a hole blown through his left temple and the gun on the floor beside his feet. The Sunday paper rested below him, two empty alcohol bottles of Harry's beside him and in his arm under his upper half was an picture of Harry, immaculate, pristine...alive.

_We laid her (him) next to him beneath the willow_

_While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

_La, la, la, la la la la, la, la, la la la la_

They had no choice but to bury Eggsy next to Harry, it was only right and Merlin was now Arthur, so he could do whatever the fuck he wanted and hated it.

Lancelot stood loyally by his side, only straying away to console Eggsy's mother who was suffering horribly at the loss of her only son and last connection to her late husband who was also killed, but in the field of duty. It wasn't fair on her at all, but Merlin wasn't going to comment on that.

Soon after, he himself stood in front of the partly new and rather new graves in Kingsman HQ's lot, shaking his head and holding both Eggsy's and Harry's signet rings in the palm of his hand. Placing them on the ground in the middle of both, he turned and walked away.

He swore later on that he could smell whiskey and brandy of some sort, along with hearing Harry's chuckle, but he shook it off.

_La, la, la, la la la la, la, la, la la la la…_

It couldn't have been real...could it?


End file.
